Lesson 3

It doesn’t matter so much where you start telling your story, but it does matter where you are going and how you get there – the story everyone wants to see is your journey along the way!

Telling your story to maximize opportunities:

In general, people like to see some level of consistency when they start to follow someone online. They are following or engaging with you for a reason, so if you drastically change your message too often you might cause people to stop resonating with your story or the story you started out with.

Fair enough!

You don’t have to be locked into a certain lifestyle, but try to understand what image you are giving off online as that is what people are funneling you through– especially when they haven’t met you yet. 

A fun and useful experiment to do that will help craft your story or at least give you a better understanding of the image you are currently giving off is: 

Giving your main social media account profile to someone who doesn’t know you well or who you have just met, and ask them what kind of person you are or the image you are currently giving off.

When you are engaging with various people online, you have a way of achieving ‘social proof’ online and this becomes part of your story; which will help you to become more ‘pre-approved’ when meeting people in person for the first time. 

Here are a few examples of stories people generally like: 

• Transformation stories: this could be anything, but usually around fitness goals (weight loss), spiritual awakening, overcoming adversity in just about anything.

• Public accountability: this is where you have put your goals out to the world via a social media post – it helps to keep you accountable as you don’t want the world to see that you gave up on your goals.

• Hobby/playful: lots of online accounts have a theme around one of their hobbies such as modeling, animals (cats & dogs), cars, motorbikes, a specific sport, or any product: iPhone, video games, clothes

A lot of people tell us when the topic of ‘stories’ or frequent posts come up that they have nothing to post and that they don’t have interesting lives. While that may be true in some cases, it is all how you interpret and portray your lifestyle…

Q: How can I interpret and portray my lifestyle in a good light when it isn’t exciting? 

A: Well, there are steps throughout this course that we hope helps you craft a more interesting life and also an increased social life along the way. 

You may be right that your lifestyle isn’t that interesting right now- fair! But there are things that can be done about this to ensure this doesn’t remain the case going forward…

No matter what your current lifestyle is like, I’m sure there are ways that it could be better documented to at least portray it in a better light. Then, as a result, you should attract more interesting experiences and people into your life. 

Your current lifestyle better documented is a good start – Most people already have quite busy lifestyles but they don’t take the time to document any of it. How can people know what you are really up to? And more importantly who you really are? 

For example, most people go to the gym (well ‘most’ is a stretch), eat meals, and read books – So why not post a picture once and awhile when you are out doing these things? We recommend doing these kinds of things via ‘stories’, which was covered briefly in the previous lesson’s video. The video accompanying this lesson has a lot more details and ideas that will help get you started. 

Easy first step! 

Another thing you can try instantly is to start checking in to more places like restaurants, cities, and countries, and using ‘location tags’ for posts and stories to show people where you are.  

Don’t be a ghost, let people know where and who you are!

Social proof, a common theme throughout this course, is gaining credibility via online engagement with other people.

Most of us have friends and family as well, (hopefully becoming more social online will help you gain more friends online and off). Posting pictures with friends is key – especially if you are meeting people online or using your Instagram or another social media account as a ‘funnel’. You need to prove to people that you haven’t met before that you are fun to be around, and what better way to prove that than having a lot of friends? 

How to be more interesting and appealing

By transforming from a Stanley Ipkiss character into The MASK so that you catch people’s attention. 

We don’t recommend robbing banks or wearing green masks and yellow suits, but we do want to find your more adventurous side and express that part a lot more. Or, at least highlight some of the more interesting aspects of your personality and lifestyle so you start getting the results you want. 

Even if you are starting out as Stanley Ikpiss, an extremely introverted person, that is also fine! Any push outside of your comfort zone, however small, will start to get you feedback which is what we really want and the goal of this course.

Feedback of any kind gives you something concrete to work with, without it everything is just a coin toss. 

This is another plug of the book Kaizen I mentioned earlier above, as it is really just inching out one step at a time. That will compound as you improve little by little- this stuff really works once you understand and leverage it!

A few ideas to help point you in the right direction if you aren’t currently living your ideal lifestyle:    

• Meet new people – join new groups via Meetup.com, or FB & Instagram groups that have regular meetups – choose a hobby or something that you are passionate about and you will probably make fast friends as you share some of the same values as them from day one. 

• Go to diverse environments – Start going out on a more regular basis to new environments, like parks, gyms, restaurants, bars, clubs and if you can afford the time and money: cities and even countries – anywhere that is new and potentially interesting. 

Try to meet new people or at least have something more interesting to post about than just your regular house and work environments.

Fresh environments are healthy for your brain also, as new stimuli are coming in and you are forced to be present as opposed to having your brain on auto-pilot. 

People will naturally be more interested in someone out doing things rather than just being in a state of paralysis, meaning the same mundane routine day in and day out Think: Jim Carrey in The Mask, The Truman Show, and ‘YES MAN’ before he breaks out and makes a big transformation – movement is medicine and will cause vibrancy and appeal from day one.

Posting novel stories and pictures that could elicit conversations, and even asking questions on social media via surveys or your posts about other peoples recommendations and input is also a good place to start. In the video, for this lesson, we will show a few accounts that engage with their audience very effectively. 

• Share your passions: If you have some level of passion for a subject, or better yet excel in that same field already, start sharing that with the world. 

If your passion, even if very niche, starts to resonate with other people you will most likely quickly gain an audience around that niche subject if you brand yourself correctly. You may even become an ‘influencer’ in a short time span 😉

Optimizing your social media account can open all kinds of opportunities for networking, ranging from romance to selling products.

What parts of your life do you want to showcase? We suggest showing all parts of it. After all, that is who you really are. 

Anyone can go out at night to a social function or a party and also be able to have a serious sidel If you only show one side of yourself that is fine but potentially limiting. There is less to talk about and you might miss out on people who could otherwise be interested in you, as they don’t resonate with you on one extreme of your ‘head up’ mode (extremely social and fun) or on the other extreme, the ‘head down’ mode (serious, busy, and in general removed from #thosegoodtimes).

Think about the MASK and the extremes that he goes to when his alter-ego takes control and he becomes The MASK and attempts to win over Cameron Diaz…

Then, on the other extreme, his introverted and dull daytime life. If you were to only know him from one side of the story this is all you would see. BUT, when you have a more balanced view, you know how his lifestyle fluctuates and can know him on a deeper level. This is so you can have the whole picture when forming your opinion on him.

While everyone should be strategic with what they post, you should not get caught in overthinking it. 

If you find yourself not being able to put anything online for days, weeks, or even months- then you are probably overthinking what you put online which also isn’t great. It is the equivalent of being lost for words in a text message or even a conversation. This isn’t going to help you grow your social network, which is after all the goal of this course!

In our opinion, a lot of people are reluctant to post on social media as they take themselves too seriously and have trouble getting around the concept of their lives being more visible and transparent. It is almost like approach anxiety when it comes to romance, if you are overthinking what you are going to say, you will wind up more nervous and most likely be lost for words. You might miss many great opportunities as a result of that.  

Start with the mindset that any engagement via social media is better than none, and will lead to an increased social network.

It is much the same as when it comes to talking to someone you would like to meet, anything you say is better than nothing. Even if it isn’t the world’s best ‘opener’ or pickup line, it will be enough to ‘break the ice’ and start some kind of dialogue. 

Think: ‘The Butterfly Effect’ (a great movie we recommend), which illustrates how small initial changes may lead to large unforeseen consequences over time. 

The engagement that you have or don’t have is the difference between meeting a best friend, possibly getting married, or making a new business relationship – those are opportunities you don’t want to miss out on. 

Start small (kaizen). Post something you are comfortable with and then gradually work your way towards your goals – you will continue to expand your comfort zone along the way. 

The magic happens just outside of your comfort zone, and your comfort zone is expanded every time you exit it, no matter how slightly – remember this!

A lot of people we have helped in the past with optimizing their online personalities weren’t ‘power users’. Some of them didn’t even have a Facebook or Instagram account at the outset. 

By starting small with a bit of engagement on social media platforms we have gotten many people to expand their online presence and comfort zones, little by little. 

Now many of the once ‘virgins’ are regular social media users and are seeing the benefits of The Life Funnel up close. 

Action Steps:

• Meet new people 

• Go to diverse environments 

• Share your passions

Basically engaging the world in a more ‘novel’ way – make sure and document some of it via pictures, updates, stories online.